No beginning. No end. A group of small town, high-school friends. Much speculation has been laid at the feet of Ominous Development. Most slain, but some true, some not-so-true. Some not-so-but-maybe-not-really-it-totally-is true.
No, none of us were electrocuted corn detasselling (aka Andropogoneae bilateral orchiectomy) but one may have been “touched” by “the corn”. Yes, we were nominated for “Innovation in Game Design” at the Independent Games Festival and some awesome PAX10 for indie games.
No, we will not hire you. Yes, there may or may not have been a number of car fires. No, we still don’t have a press pack. It’s not coming. Yes, it is factually hilarious that this actually happened.
Yes, neil degrasse tyson did in fact say we’re the greatest thing since sliced physics.
No. Neil degrasse tyson didn’t actually say that, but he might if he knew we existed and you cared to follow up, which you wont, because why?
Explorer of Fiddly Bits™
Eric spends his time antagonizing the team with cattle prods, replacing code with MSPaint drawings of cats when no one is looking, and annoying the Ominous business contacts by sending them envelopes full of baby powder. He also likes piñacoladas and overly affectionate inanimate objects. Generally, Eric can be found staring at the sea and mumbling about orbital mechanics.
Also, this is hilarious.
The elusive Stanfield loves fixing Eric’s bad code, rewriting large swaths of the Ominous Engine to test bad design ideas, and tiny hats. He can often be found in Azeroth where he pines away at menial rank hoping for bigger, better and more bulbously phat lute. Little else is known about the elusive Stanfield. Cryptozoologists continue to debate whether or not he exists at all.
Chief Dark Cultivator of Devious Disparities™
Bret reckons with no man, god or beast of the sea, for one should expect no quarter when dealing with Bret. Despite an emotionally debilitating psychological weakness for tiny hats, Bret braves the intellectual wasteland of New York making weird, amazing things and destroying stupidity. In his off time, Bret works as a part time Chippendale’s dancer for tips and cougar connections which he claims are being compiled for an as yet undisclosed “Research Project”. He enjoys long walks on the beach and large hands.
Hydrophobic Minister of Sub-Sea Level Mind Diving™
Subject may appear agitated and should be considered potentially hostile when presented with plush, furry creatures. Use extreme caution when around subject with objects of bright color or shiny reflectiveness. After many ad hominem attacks from himself toward himself, he now disagrees. Subject, when probed in a verbal or non-verbal manner, audibly repeats “It creates. It just creates.” Approach with caution.
Written byChristopher M McGarry
July 3, 2013 - 9:58 pm